I wonder sometimes how one day I look at the calendar, and it's May, and then the next day I look again and it's July. I know I am guilty of letting time get the best of me, and also realizing that time goes way to fast.
This brings me to my next point of perfection, and that is making the most of every moment. We all know that time goes fast. All you parents out there know exactly what I'm talking about, the day you take your baby to Kindergarten for their first day, or the day you turn around and you have a 15 year old.
Non parents, can also probably side with me as well, when all of a sudden they reach their 40th birthday and wonder what happened the last 10 years.
My point is, yes time goes fast. So why not savor every minute, and by savoring I mean, not sweating the small stuff. Part of my healing routine has been to "calm" down when I've needed to really "calm down". I'm not talking about the over excitement or over anxiousness that many of us experience. I'm talking about the calming of my inner soul, the calming of not thinking everything has to be in order. I've realized I've waisted quite a bit of time, worrying or being anxious about not having all my ducks in a row. I've waisted a lot of time, planning and planning, till my lists had lists, when in all good time, I really didn't need a list... I just needed to calm down.
It wasn't until recently that I realized that my perfection was getting in the way of me enjoying life to it's fullest. There were times that I wouldn't go outside with my children, because I was too busy cleaning up after dinner, or times that I would miss an opportunity like seeing a hot air balloon go over my house, because I was too busy getting things in order for the next morning. Any vacation, car trip, or even camping adventure was so planned out, that even my kids and husband would laugh at me, asking me to just be spontaneous and enjoy the trip! Time does go by way to fast, and soon I realized that I was missing out on many things that meant a lot to me. Just like the saying "take time to smell the roses"... I have a new saying... "take time to not plan".
Spontaneous is definitely a new word in my vocabulary. It hasn't been easy, in fact even difficult at times. How could I possibly get through a whole weekend, with out being in total control, and have everything packed to a "T". But I'm healing. I'm letting spontaneous take over in parts of my life. It's not going to be a miracle change overnight, but it's something that is definitely helping me heal from perfection.
So for today, I'm going to vow, that I'm "not going to let Time get the best of me".
Till next time.
