I don't have to be everything

Being a mom is a difficult job.  I get it.  Being a woman is just as difficult. I'm starting to realize that perfectionism is really just the icing on the cake. In reality, I was trying to be everything to everybody, and somehow was throwing in a wrench and trying to be perfect at all of it.  I get that too.

I've been waking up at 630 lately to try to work out in the mornings. Today marks day 10 for me, and let me tell you, it has not been easy.  The reason I say that is, as a mom, as a woman, it's a difficult job to be everything.  I want to be a fit person, someone who is there for my children and active for them, then a mom, and make sure everybody is dressed and fed and out the door by 8:00, not forgetting being a woman, trying to get myself ready for work for the day and be somewhat presentable.  Then from 8 to 5, an employee, a contributor, a co-worker to my peers.  Then from 5 to 9, somehow be a mom again, feeding, homework, sports, bathing, cleaning, and everything else that happens in that small time frame.  On top of that somehow I have to be a wife, and appear sexy enough for my husband.  I get it.  When it reaches 9:30pm, I've had it.  I'm done. I'm tired.  

But life doesn't have to be me just being this passive recipient, going on the conveyor belt of life.  One thing we have to realize is that we are not in control.  We have influence, but not control. The key is to have a great well being about one self and lead with definition.  A definition of who your self worth is.  Whether it be you as mom leading your family, or you as a business leader leading your business. Realize this.  Life is going to happen.  How you interpret life, how you influence life is up to you and your choice.  For me, this life is going to happen.  So why waste another minute on trying to make it perfect.  It's difficult enough as is, no need to try to have it be some unrealistic goal due to perfectionism.  Whatever your story is, whatever your core belief, let go of trying to be everything to everybody, and just be you.

Take Time to Heal

As with any type of self-help solution, things take time.  I look back at my life, and how long it took for me to become a perfectionist.  I'm talking probably almost 11 years, well, for me to at least realize I had a problem.  So my point is today, healing is certainly not going to be anything you can accomplish overnight, especially if this is something that has been plaguing your life for sometime now.

I have certainly realized that.  I look back about 7 or 8 months, when I was really starting to realize my controlling problem of perfectionism and then look at myself today.  I certainly haven't healed 100% yet. I still have moments of control, moments of needing to be perfect and certainly moments that are setting me back.  But what I can realize is this, I am healing, one step at a time.  Slowly, yes, but I am taking time to heal myself.  I look in the mirror and know that I am better than that person I was 8 months ago, better than that person even 3 months ago, and even better than the person I was last week.

The point is to keep working at it.  Find something that helps you heal. Whether it be reading blogs like this, reading books that help you from wanting to be in control, or even simpler, starting to write your own thoughts of what perfectionism means to you.  Find something that helps you to take that time that is much needed to heal.

Perfectionism is not going to be healed overnight, but find in yourself the strength to make a point to get a little better everyday.  Believe me, it will help in the long run.