Stop comparing

I've been looking at my house lately wishing it was more perfect inside.  I've gotten in a habit of noticing other houses that look more "in place" than mine.  Everything has a place, everything put away, it seems so ideal. So beautiful.  I find myself than comparing my house to others. If I'm over at a friends house or just happen to see a beautiful house in the paper, or news, I quickly find myself jealous and wanting my house to look just like that.

I take a look around, and there's clothes everywhere, clean clothes waiting to be folded on the couch, dirty ones waiting to be washed. Things that have been brought home from school that are now sitting on our desk. Shoes crowding up the hallway.  Paperwork piling up in every little space, and somehow every nook and cranny seems to be filled. As much as I try to clean up, I never can get to that "perfect" everything in its place look.  The kind that just stepped out of a for sale ad.  You know the type.

So then I get mad and notice my perfectionism creeping through. I find myself asking "how do I get my house perfect?" Perhaps I do need to spend some time getting rid of things. But number one thing, I need to stop comparing my house to others.  My house is beautiful, it really is. I need to just focus on what I can change inside and stop comparing to what other people have.  My house does not need to be perfect like theirs. If I truly want my house to look different, and this is more about wanting a change in the house, than I need to start small and start with one room at a time. No need to waste my time hoping to make my house perfect.

Mistakes will happen. We're only human

For so long I've had this phobia of making mistakes. I tend to get so hung up on mistakes and if a mistake happens, it seems like the end of the world.  What I've been trying to teach myself is that mistakes will happen. It's part of life and we're human. And what I really need to concentrate on is that mistakes should happen. It's those opportunities when a mistake happens that gives us opportunities to truly learn and develop.

Understanding that mistakes happen is a big key.  Get over it.  Move on.  It's part of life.

Short guide on perfectionism

I read an article today about "A short Guide to Taming Your Inner Perfectionist" that I wanted to share with you.

There were some interesting things to do in order to start to control your perfectionism, all things that I am definitely working on and have found helpful.

1) Monitor the big picture and not the small one. Stop trying to plan everything and handle issues as they arise. Do not worry about things that may not happen.

2) Set deadlines and stick to them. Don't get wrapped up on making things perfect past your deadline.

3) Don't fret about past mistakes. The past is the past and time to move on.

4) Stop waiting for the perfect time.  In reality, there never is really a perfect time, so just start now.

5) Tackle work one step at a time. Don't lose yourself thinking about the other things you need to accomplish.

Perfect Conversations

In my head I tend to have perfect conversations.  Meaning, I've researched what I'm going to say, repeated it in my mind, changed around a few things and practiced and molded what I think is a perfect conversation. That happened to me today.

I wanted to have a "serious" talk about girls, love...whatever else came to mind...with my eleven year old son.  I had constructed the perfect conversation, of how I wanted to talk to him...where I was going to talk to him, how I was going to start off..what exactly I was going to say. I even researched an article about "how to talk to your kids about love." And so I began.. about 2 minutes into the conversation, I was completely losing him. Eyes rolling behind the head, thumbs twiddling, knees shaking. I knew I needed to do some differently.  My "perfect" conversation, was not so perfect. And I was looking like the idiot.  

My husband came into the room and said my God, it looks like you just told him his dog died. He was right. What I had molded in my head was clearly not the way I had planned it out or thought it was going to go.  My husband took over and within a few bright words, turned my son around and before you know it had him smiling.  That indeed was the perfect conversation I thought.

My point is, we've all had those moments, where we think of how we're going to say something, have something perfectly planned out, and the situation presents itself completely different. My learning moment today was to realize that I'm not perfect, there is no way to mold a perfect conversation. There is no way to tell exactly how a situation is going to take off, and you just need to go with it.  Just go from the heart and speak what feels right at that given moment.