Wednesday, March 20, 2013
Day 3
Friday, March 15, 2013
Day 2 of healing
Day 2-
Nobody is perfect. I know that, I know that God never asks us to be perfect, nor is anyone ever expecting for me to be perfect. So why do I have these feelings? Why does everything have to be just this "dream life." After my husband told me to put down my rope, I started to think about things in my own life and reflect upon things personally.
Being a mom of 3, 2 girls and 1 boy all under the age of 10, my life is never calm. In fact, a mess often times, and far from perfect. In fact, digging deeper, I would never think of expecting any one of my kids to be perfect. I would never expect my husband to be most perfect husband. So why so much pressure on myself? Is anyone else like that?
I have at least figured out that yes I have a problem, but overcoming it, well, I guess I just have to start at the beginning. I guess I can't take that leap, the leap to the next chapter of my life, if I'm not willing to take the next step.
Nobody is perfect. I know that, I know that God never asks us to be perfect, nor is anyone ever expecting for me to be perfect. So why do I have these feelings? Why does everything have to be just this "dream life." After my husband told me to put down my rope, I started to think about things in my own life and reflect upon things personally.
Being a mom of 3, 2 girls and 1 boy all under the age of 10, my life is never calm. In fact, a mess often times, and far from perfect. In fact, digging deeper, I would never think of expecting any one of my kids to be perfect. I would never expect my husband to be most perfect husband. So why so much pressure on myself? Is anyone else like that?
I have at least figured out that yes I have a problem, but overcoming it, well, I guess I just have to start at the beginning. I guess I can't take that leap, the leap to the next chapter of my life, if I'm not willing to take the next step.
Monday, March 11, 2013
Day 1 of healing:
So why this blog you ask? Well, first most, I have desired to be a changed woman. No longer do I want to feel like my life has to be perfect. No longer do I want to feel like I have to always be in control. So today starts my healing. Today starts my writing to capture those feelings and to write them down. Hopefully through some faith, some thoughts and some true belief, I can eliminate those emotions inside of me.
So why now? Well, let me begin by telling you of my weakness. Being of a mom of three, has certainly been tough, there are times when I feel like I'm at the end of my rope. Healthy? Absolutely not, but permissible, certainly. It was just when my oh so gracious husband, said "Honey, why don't you put that rope down?" I stopped in my tracks. What do you mean put the rope down? He said, "Just put it down, and pick up where you left off later? Instead of getting to the end of it, just let go." What a profound statement, and something, honestly admitting, I had never heard of.
If I put that rope down, then I loose control. I loose everything I've been hanging on to, the feeling of "if I just keep hold of it, then I can prove I'm superwoman, I can prove I'm perfect, and everyone will think I'm in control."
Insane thoughts. Has anyone ever felt like this? Where did these feelings ever come from? It was at that moment, that I realized...I have a problem. I have the need to always feel in control. And so today starts, Day 1 of my healing. To become a changed woman, a woman that doesn't have to feel like she's in control, a woman who doesn't have to be perfect. A woman that is free from those feelings.
So why this blog you ask? Well, first most, I have desired to be a changed woman. No longer do I want to feel like my life has to be perfect. No longer do I want to feel like I have to always be in control. So today starts my healing. Today starts my writing to capture those feelings and to write them down. Hopefully through some faith, some thoughts and some true belief, I can eliminate those emotions inside of me.
So why now? Well, let me begin by telling you of my weakness. Being of a mom of three, has certainly been tough, there are times when I feel like I'm at the end of my rope. Healthy? Absolutely not, but permissible, certainly. It was just when my oh so gracious husband, said "Honey, why don't you put that rope down?" I stopped in my tracks. What do you mean put the rope down? He said, "Just put it down, and pick up where you left off later? Instead of getting to the end of it, just let go." What a profound statement, and something, honestly admitting, I had never heard of.
If I put that rope down, then I loose control. I loose everything I've been hanging on to, the feeling of "if I just keep hold of it, then I can prove I'm superwoman, I can prove I'm perfect, and everyone will think I'm in control."
Insane thoughts. Has anyone ever felt like this? Where did these feelings ever come from? It was at that moment, that I realized...I have a problem. I have the need to always feel in control. And so today starts, Day 1 of my healing. To become a changed woman, a woman that doesn't have to feel like she's in control, a woman who doesn't have to be perfect. A woman that is free from those feelings.
Sunday, March 10, 2013
Perfectionism
Perfectionism is something I have struggled with for many years. In my daily personal life, in my work and even raising my 3 kids, I have felt the need to always be perfect, to always have things under control. However I'm realizing very quickly, there is no perfect, there is no one except for myself who is expecting perfect and there is no reason I need to beat myself up while trying to achieve the impossible. That's when I decided to write down my thoughts, my inner feelings and hopefully overcome the perfectionist inside me and cure myself through writing. If you are dealing witht the same issues, I encourage you to read along and share your story, and hopefully together, we be cured.
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