Don't pass perfectionism onto your kids

Parents passing physical traits to their children is certainly an inevitable thing.  One can't really avoid that.  However passing character traits is something that can be controlled, especially if that trait is something like perfectionism.

I already know that my middle child who is 9 is a stemming flower waiting to bloom into a perfectionist.  She certainly got my genes on that one.  She is one to get mad if her books aren't lined up correctly, let alone in alphabetical order from tallest to shortest.  She's the type that will get mad if her little sister comes in and messes up her "perfect room."  Without knowing, I've somehow passed on those tendencies through my own expectations and behaviors.  Either way, there's no sense blaming myself, but rather, realize the problem and get it corrected.

What I've learned is that even at that this young age, I CAN help my child deal with perfectionism, letting her know that while it's wonderful to begin with this grand vision, it's also ok if the end result is different than the original plan. I've also been real honest with her, telling her that I'm dealing with the same types of thoughts and letting her know that it's something I'm trying to overcome. 

Part of my healing with my own perfectionism, is seeing what direct effect it is playing on my children.  And let me tell you, it's certainly kicking me in the butt, and jump starting what was before just a semi-active movement into a "hurry up and get over this thing."  Some advice today- don't pass perfectionism onto your kids. It's bad enough to have one perfectionist in the family, let alone any more.