High Standards

The other day our family was doing some much needed "fall" cleaning.  We were cleaning our play room, the room of the unending pile of "this doesn't have a home so it's going downstairs in the playroom, pile."  All you parents know exactly what I'm talking about.  Things just sort of get placed shoved there.  Well as I was cleaning, I felt myself getting frustrated with the way the others were cleaning.  I was getting mad if they didn't clean exactly the way I wanted them to, or organize the books exactly the way I thought they should be organized.  I felt myself slipping into this perfectionist coma, the inevitable thought..."If they can't clean like I want them to, then I'll just do it myself." Keep in mind, my kids are 10, 8 and 6...and by now you are probably thinking I'm crazy.

I actually had to stop myself, breathe, breathe again and then take a step back.  Right there and then I wondered to myself if I was trying to control these high standards I had set for myself, and somehow expect the same thing of my poor kids and husband.  I realized something very important at that moment.  Wasn't it enough that my kids were actually helping out with something around the house?  Wasn't it enough that a room would actually be pleasing to the eye, all done in the framework of a team effort? Wasn't it enough that our family was spending some much needed quality time together?

I should be happy that my kids and husband were putting in the effort of cleaning.  And at that moment I was.  Any thoughts of "I can do this better or That's not where that goes or Those don't look good like that" all erased from my mind at that moment.  Now don't get me wrong, it's certainly ok to have high standards.  But when the high standards are trying to control others on what they do, then it's time to rethink those standards.

So today, let your husband help out with the diaper on the baby, even if he puts it on backwards.  Let the kids clean and feel proud of their accomplishment, even if the books are not completely organized.  And let those people in your life help out when they offer to help you, knowing that you can't do this alone.  Put your perfectionist ways of controlling other people's standards away and focus on other things in life.  Things like enjoying some family time, cleaning the playroom together.