An easy step you can take to overcome perfectionism is to observe yourself and recognize when your mind is desiring to do something perfect. I've noticed this takes a lot of patience with myself, but the key is to make a habit of noticing when it is that you feel most stressed out during the day due to perfectionism.
Once you recognize these thoughts and really observe what's going on during these moments, you can really get a grasp on what's triggering your perfection. Whether it be cleaning your house, making a meal, planning a party or perhaps closing a deal at work, all of these situations can be pretty stressful to the perfectionist. But the key is to observe when it is that really gets you frustrated, and make note of it. The more you observe yourself and get a grip on when these moments occur, the more you learn. You'll begin to see patterns and then you can take action on them. The point is, once you notice these patterns you can then start to control them and break free from them.
My advice is that you start writing down these moments. Keep a journal. Do whatever it takes to start observing when and where your perfectionism starts taking over your mind.
Sunday, December 15, 2013
Saturday, December 7, 2013
Don't pass perfectionism onto your kids
Parents passing physical traits to their children is certainly an inevitable thing. One can't really avoid that. However passing character traits is something that can be controlled, especially if that trait is something like perfectionism.
I already know that my middle child who is 9 is a stemming flower waiting to bloom into a perfectionist. She certainly got my genes on that one. She is one to get mad if her books aren't lined up correctly, let alone in alphabetical order from tallest to shortest. She's the type that will get mad if her little sister comes in and messes up her "perfect room." Without knowing, I've somehow passed on those tendencies through my own expectations and behaviors. Either way, there's no sense blaming myself, but rather, realize the problem and get it corrected.
What I've learned is that even at that this young age, I CAN help my child deal with perfectionism, letting her know that while it's wonderful to begin with this grand vision, it's also ok if the end result is different than the original plan. I've also been real honest with her, telling her that I'm dealing with the same types of thoughts and letting her know that it's something I'm trying to overcome.
Part of my healing with my own perfectionism, is seeing what direct effect it is playing on my children. And let me tell you, it's certainly kicking me in the butt, and jump starting what was before just a semi-active movement into a "hurry up and get over this thing." Some advice today- don't pass perfectionism onto your kids. It's bad enough to have one perfectionist in the family, let alone any more.
I already know that my middle child who is 9 is a stemming flower waiting to bloom into a perfectionist. She certainly got my genes on that one. She is one to get mad if her books aren't lined up correctly, let alone in alphabetical order from tallest to shortest. She's the type that will get mad if her little sister comes in and messes up her "perfect room." Without knowing, I've somehow passed on those tendencies through my own expectations and behaviors. Either way, there's no sense blaming myself, but rather, realize the problem and get it corrected.
What I've learned is that even at that this young age, I CAN help my child deal with perfectionism, letting her know that while it's wonderful to begin with this grand vision, it's also ok if the end result is different than the original plan. I've also been real honest with her, telling her that I'm dealing with the same types of thoughts and letting her know that it's something I'm trying to overcome.
Part of my healing with my own perfectionism, is seeing what direct effect it is playing on my children. And let me tell you, it's certainly kicking me in the butt, and jump starting what was before just a semi-active movement into a "hurry up and get over this thing." Some advice today- don't pass perfectionism onto your kids. It's bad enough to have one perfectionist in the family, let alone any more.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)