I can't do it all

Sometimes hidden in my mind, I have this feeling, that I can do it all.  I can do everything.  Meaning, I can wear multiple hats and not skip a beat. I think a lot of time, perfectionists think “I got this, I can do it all”.  We pile on more than what we can handle, and try to bite off more than we can chew.  Realistically though, I can not do it all. I cannot do everything.  I am only one person.  

I’m a mom, a wife, a sister, a daughter, a Director, and sometimes (A taxi cab driver, psychologist, babysitter, chef, peace-maker, a doctor, and all the other jobs that come along with being a mom of three kids.) People ask me all the time “How do you do it all?” I just tell them, “I don’t”.  There are definitely things that I’ve learned over the years that help me at least stay on top of it all, or perhaps even seem like I do it all have. These include

1. Making Lists- I have lists upon lists, but keeping track of everything helps me stay grounded, and on task
2. Delegating- Through learning that I can’t do it all, I’ve also learned that I need to delegate in order to get projects done.  That means at home, I have the family help out and at work, I delegate tasks to other people that can get the job done faster than me.
3. Have Faith- I know in the bible it says “I can do all things through him who gives me strength”, but that does not mean all things, all the time.  It means the secret of being content in any and every situation and being able to do anything through God. Having faith that you will get through the day, even in times of sorrow.

We don’t need to be superman, or superwomen, and think that we can accomplish everything, or think at any moment, we can do it all.  We don’t have to be everything to everybody all the time.  We just have to be the best that we can be at any given moment, and know that we can not do it all.

Stop comparing

I've been looking at my house lately wishing it was more perfect inside.  I've gotten in a habit of noticing other houses that look more "in place" than mine.  Everything has a place, everything put away, it seems so ideal. So beautiful.  I find myself than comparing my house to others. If I'm over at a friends house or just happen to see a beautiful house in the paper, or news, I quickly find myself jealous and wanting my house to look just like that.

I take a look around, and there's clothes everywhere, clean clothes waiting to be folded on the couch, dirty ones waiting to be washed. Things that have been brought home from school that are now sitting on our desk. Shoes crowding up the hallway.  Paperwork piling up in every little space, and somehow every nook and cranny seems to be filled. As much as I try to clean up, I never can get to that "perfect" everything in its place look.  The kind that just stepped out of a for sale ad.  You know the type.

So then I get mad and notice my perfectionism creeping through. I find myself asking "how do I get my house perfect?" Perhaps I do need to spend some time getting rid of things. But number one thing, I need to stop comparing my house to others.  My house is beautiful, it really is. I need to just focus on what I can change inside and stop comparing to what other people have.  My house does not need to be perfect like theirs. If I truly want my house to look different, and this is more about wanting a change in the house, than I need to start small and start with one room at a time. No need to waste my time hoping to make my house perfect.

Mistakes will happen. We're only human

For so long I've had this phobia of making mistakes. I tend to get so hung up on mistakes and if a mistake happens, it seems like the end of the world.  What I've been trying to teach myself is that mistakes will happen. It's part of life and we're human. And what I really need to concentrate on is that mistakes should happen. It's those opportunities when a mistake happens that gives us opportunities to truly learn and develop.

Understanding that mistakes happen is a big key.  Get over it.  Move on.  It's part of life.

Short guide on perfectionism

I read an article today about "A short Guide to Taming Your Inner Perfectionist" that I wanted to share with you.

There were some interesting things to do in order to start to control your perfectionism, all things that I am definitely working on and have found helpful.

1) Monitor the big picture and not the small one. Stop trying to plan everything and handle issues as they arise. Do not worry about things that may not happen.

2) Set deadlines and stick to them. Don't get wrapped up on making things perfect past your deadline.

3) Don't fret about past mistakes. The past is the past and time to move on.

4) Stop waiting for the perfect time.  In reality, there never is really a perfect time, so just start now.

5) Tackle work one step at a time. Don't lose yourself thinking about the other things you need to accomplish.