For many years I struggled with trying to control all of my external chaos. I would try to control my house, my kids, the way people did things around me, my work and even my life. To me, if I had control of all of those things, than I would feel good, feel accomplished. On top of that I had put this extreme goal in my head that if all of that was done perfectly, than everything was even better.
What I wasn't realizing was that this need to control was really about me. It wasn't about the people I was trying to control or the things I was controlling. It was about a need that I was trying to fill. Or perhaps a fear that I had that I didn't even realize I had. What really was happening was that I was trying to control all of this external chaos in my world, when really I was trying to control my own internal chaos.
For me, I needed to find out what was driving my need for control and perfectionism. I needed to find out what I was afraid of. Ask yourself this: "What are you afraid people will conclude about you if you aren't perfect? What do you know about you that you think everybody would see, if you didn't keep up this image?" Once you find these answers than you begin your journey to control these feelings, control your perfectionism.
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