Definition of perfectionist

I recently read the definition of a perfectionist:

"Perfectionists are often very precise, driven, extremely task-oriented individuals, who not only strive toward excellence, but also attempt to achieve flawlessness in whatever task they undertake"


Ah, yes, that would describe me.  No doubt about it.  And as some theorist believe that people may be predisposed to being a perfectionist, or perhaps born with the traits,  I believe that mine was due to a sum of several factors that actually got worse over time.

I certainly wasn't born this way, in fact wasn't even this way in High School. But my environment, my life experiences, my problem solving abilities, certainly led up to this. I really feel like it got worse over time.  First I noticed right after I had kids, I started to feel like I had to be in control.  Then it transpired into trying to be perfect, after my first husband left me and the kids and ended up in divorce.  When I had reached my lowest and had no where else to go but up, I decided to go back to school to get my master's degree.  Then full blown perfectionism set in.  Not only did I want to be perfect at school, but 99.9% wasn't good enough.  Even sometimes 100% wasn't good enough.  I know hard to believe.  But that's how the disease works.  It's demoralizing. Perfectionism makes you feel like you are never good enough.  You have to strive to always be more. 

And so, I finally realized the need to change.

Like anything else, most changes require regular, concerted effort on the part of the person desiring to make the change. I know that changing my behavior requires a consistent effort on my part.  But my advice to you today is to start slowly.  That's exactly what I'm doing.  One foot in front of the other.  Forming new habits and new beliefs.